The Lakeside

A few years ago, I worked in the Christian School at our church. One of the areas that I continually saw the need to help out with was the morning car line. Children were constantly coming into class late, and parents were constantly upset. I can understand, because it can be quite hectic getting your children to school on time in the mornings.

So, I decided to do something. I decided I would make it my mission to help direct the morning traffic. You see, because of the layout of our school and church building, there is a method that works best (especially on snow days), and if people do not follow the route, traffic congestion takes place.

Keeping in mind, that some people may have been new, or had never been instructed (doubtful, but trying to give the benefit…) I would stand at one intersection and direct people where to go so as not to cause any delays. If the parents and students would simply go as directed, everything would be fine. By driving the route directed, one would ad a total of 20 seconds to their morning commute (yes, I did time the drive).

Some parents would wave at me, thanking me for standing outside in the cold and rainy early morning hours. Some parents would apologize for doing the wrong thing, or tell me they didn’t know to which I would normally reply, “not a problem, now you know.”

Most generally, people would roll their eyes, throw up their hands, turn around and speed in an attempt to tell me what they thought of me through the roar of their engines. And, no… my feelings were not hurt. Hard to be offended when someone says “vaaa-room” to you. I would just chuckle, and reply “aaooogaaahhh” (thats my impression of an old car’s horn).

A couple times, I had parents roll their windows down and let me know what they thought about me. Again, I really never had my feelings hurt. People do not realize that they are only showing their ignorance when they complain about breaking the rules.

I had one dear lady come blasting up the road toward me obviously speeding. I flagged her down, and explained, “Ma’am, you will need to drive around the building, and come up the line like everyone else.”

She replied, “I don’t have time! I am going that way instead!”

Now, normally, I would give when it was a person’s first time. Especially if they had a legitimate reason, or I had never seen them before. I would usually say something along the lines of, “Go ahead this time, but next time you will need to drive around the building like everyone else.”

This lady, however was in no way a first timer. It seemed that she wanted to test me every morning. I had motioned her on more times then I had brushed my teeth.

This time, I calmly replied, “ma’am, you are holding up the line, I am going to have to ask you to drive around the building like everyone else.”

“No! I wil not.” Came her reply. “I don’t have time!”

Regardless of the fact that she could have driven around the building twice in the time she had made her stand, I calmly replied, “Ma’am, You will need to drive around the building. Have a good day.” and then motioned for the cars already established in the car line to continue.

She muttered something, threw the car in drive, and spun around.

Now, the sad thing about this is that her daughter was sitting in the car with her the entire time. She witnessed her mother argue with authority, and learned how to act when she is driving on her own. I know it is a simple rule at our school, but it is a rule nonetheless. I guess the old statement is right “Morals matter but Character counts.”

This is what Christ was trying to teach us when he was talking about the two men building their houses in Matthew 7:24-27. You remember the song from Sunday School?

The wise man built his house upon the rock,
The wise man built his house upon the rock,
The wise man built his house upon the rock,
And the rains came tumbling down.

The rains came down and the floods came up,
The rains came down and the floods came up,
The rains came down and the floods came up,
And the house on the rock stood firm.

The foolish man built his house upon the sand,
The foolish man built his house upon the sand,
The foolish man built his house upon the sand,
And the rains came tumbling down.

The rains came down and the floods came up,
The rains came down and the floods came up,
The rains came down and the floods came up,
And the house on the sand went splat.

Anyway…our lives are built on choices. What we decide to do with our lives all hinge around the choices we make concerning what we are going to do with God’s Word. This is how we develop our character. Both of these men heard God’s word, both of these men built their lives around their decision of what to do with what they heard, and both men had trials come their way.

The man who had spent the time and work to build his house on the rock was ready for the trials. Back to my story about the school car line… In Ephesians 6, we are told to submit to those who are in authority over us. If I am going to be wise, I will hear this teaching, and begin to submit wherever I can. I will make it a practice to listen to authority and follow their leading.

However, if I listen to this teaching (not mine, but God’s from the book of Ephesians) but do not put it into immediate practice, I will probably not be willing to follow direction when some bald chubby fella tells me to drive around the building.

This can be seen in long term Christians. Have you ever seen a baby Christian dive into his/her new life in Christ, and get, as we say, “On Fire for God?” They want to read the Bible, pray, talk about Jesus at every turn, listen to Hymns, etc. Then some older Christian tells them to calm down and take it in stride.

Many of us older Christians have the mentality, “I know that…” “I’ve heard that already…” or “Teach me something new…”

I wonder what would happen is instead of us always looking to hear something new, what would happen if we just put into practice the things we have already heard. You know…that lady knew what she should do. I wonder how she would react if her daughter talked to her that way.

No matter how “Good and Moral” we think we are, our true character comes out when we are in the position of the storms of life. How we react shows us more about our character than how we act.

What are your reactions showing about your Character?

What is amazing is the amount of people who truly believe that other people are at fault for their reactions. We blame other people for how we act and react, and refuse to accept responsibility.

• “If there wasn’t so much traffic in Cincinnati, I would not have to drive so fast to get where I am going.”
• “All those years of working with ungrateful people has made me cynical.”
• “If my boss would pay me more, I could afford to tithe.”
• “If she hadn’t talked so rudely to me, I probably wouldn’t have been rude to her.”
• “If the person wasn’t driving so slow I wouldn’t have to ride their bumper.”

However, we do not like to think about people telling us what to do, or to ever admit we let people control us… This is interesting. We say that no one can control us, but when we allow people’s actions to create ill reactions, we give control to them.

Family Reactions

I Peter 3: 8-9 “Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.

I know the beginning of this chapter is dealing with husbands and wives, but I want to focus on the reactions of these individuals. Wives are not to win an unsaved husband by arguing with him, but through her lifestyle. Likewise, Husbands are not to be gruff with their wives, but to DWELL with them.

Women love to talk… they want to KNOW everything. My wife often asks me 10 questions to get an answer that would take a man 1 question. My typical instinct is to feel badgered. However, I must understand that she is just trying to know me, not nag me. She is merely wanting to connect with me through understanding. If I receive this as spiteful questioning (or even if it is), I must not respond with a spiteful attitude. [See verse 9]

A wife that hears an unsaved harsh husband say things like, “are you going to that church to give them my money?” should not allow that to put her in a bad mood when she gets to church.

A husband that receives the third degree every day when he gets home may respond by ignoring his wife or even by calling her names.

While the husband may be guilty of his negative comment, the wife is equally guilty of having a bad mood at church. Likewise, the wife may be guilty of nagging, but the husband is equally guilty of his response.

We must realize that another’s negative actions NEVER justifies our negative reactions. We all will one day stand before God and give account for ourselves. The wife will not stand before God and give account for the husbands reaction for her nagging.

ALL things…for good?

Have you ever had something bad come into your life only to have someone, sincere as they may be, say “don’t forget that all things work together for good…”? They say this with a smile, and we are expected to respond with an affirming statement like, “you know, you are right. I was looking at my injured child in the wrong light. I should have known this was a good thing.”

However, If we truly believe this truth, that all things work for good, then we would believe that everything that happens in our lives makes a contribution. In a sense, we really have no enemies. Situations, problems, difficulties, or difficult people are not our enemies, but our allies. If we would believe that every event in our lives work to our betterment, then we would believe that we can benefit from them. As a result, we would react in a very different way.

Look at the apostle Paul. I am sure that when he was struck blind on the road to Damascus, he wondered how this could be a good thing. However, later on he realized that this was what God used to draw him to a relationship Christ. [Romans 8:20]

What we must remember is that things work to His purpose. We do not understand this at the times when the bad is going on, but when we can look at things with hindsight we get a view of what God did through that issue.

The reality is that God never promised that the situations were going to be “good” just that all things work together for good. It is a matter of looking at each situation with the question, “how will God use this for good?”

The responsibility rests on us

When God shows us something about ourselves, we can never un-see this truth. We have a responsibility to acknowledge it and change. [Proverbs 28:13]

I am one of those who walk away from hearing a truth with the thought, “Well, how do I do that?” I like practical. I love it when someone not only exposes the truth to me, but teaches me the practical way to enact that truth in my life. Here is a three step process to taking responsibilities for your reactions:

1. We must admit that God has shown us, through our reactions the truth about us.
2. When we see this, we must refuse to defend ourselves.
3. We must then actively work at reacting in the right way regardless of others actions.

Have you ever had a bad habit to break? You substituted that bad habit with something else. Perhaps you tried to quit using swear words by saying things like AMEN, or Praise The Lord!

Try this… next time someone does something that would normally cause a negative reaction, asking God to help you Love them. I know it may sound crazy, but next time that person cuts you off while driving through the city, just say God bless you, and pray for them… who knows, perhaps they were on their way to see their first child being born. Maybe your prayers keep them from getting into an accident.

So… who, or what, are you allowing to control you?

I had lunch yesterday with a new found friend, Mike Steffan. He and I were talking about the differences in lifestyles. Specifically speaking, the difference between city life and country life.

As I sat there enjoying my Reuben from Penn Station, we spoke for about 45 minutes on how much slower paced  life was in the country, and the nicety that is experienced in more rural areas. We discussed why that was, and what we came to realize is, at least in my mind, something very interesting.

While the two subjects, “slower paced folk” and “country niceties,” may sound completely separate, but what I have come to realize, is that they are actually connected.

The best example I can give of this is in the story of Mary and Martha found in Luke 10

We all know the story… Jesus goes to Martha’s for dinner…Mary was sitting at Jesus’ feet listening to him…Martha got upset that she was doing all the work…She wants Jesus to tell her sister to help… Jesus instead informs her that Mary was the one who chose the best part.

So, how does this compare to us today?

Have you ever gotten home after a busy day and said to yourself, “What a day! I don’t think I have stopped all day!” Sure you have. We have work schedules, traffic to contend with, kids to drop off at school, extra curricular activities to chase, shopping, house work, etc… if you throw in any ministry opportunities, volunteering, and hobbies, and you will never get the time to sit down.

Lets be honest… most of us are just too busy. There really isn’t anyone to blame for this but ourselves. We can try to blame society, our bosses, school leaders, or whatever, but the truth of the matter is that we are the ones who choose what we are involved in.

I remember when I was a kid, my dad used to tell me I could pick one thing. Church, school, and family time was a given, and there wasn’t any negotiating these schedules. Past that, I was allowed to choose one activity. If I was playing Hockey, then I didn’t play baseball during the off season. If I wanted to take a martial art, then that meant I was not playing hockey the following season. The reasoning was that we were not going to overload our schedule. There was a balance in that.

My grandfather knew how to put that time for rest in. I remember going hunting with him and not getting a thing. The point was that he and I spent time together. It was relaxing and FUN.

Yes, I said FUN. Believe it or not, we were taught to have fun. My parents and grandparents knew that if they did not make sure they had time to themselves, that they would not be any count to us as kids.

Mary understood this. She decided that it was more important to spend time with Jesus making memories and learning things that would be with her for the rest of her life, than spending time cooking a one-time meal.

Back to the fast paced/nicety thing… Our lives get so fast paced, that we do not have time for niceties. We then become more concerned with schedules, appearances, expectations, deadlines, and time clocks, that we do not focus on what is important.

When was the last time you spent time with your kids, or your wife? When was the last time you just sat on a porch with your neighbors? When was the last time you had your parents over for dinner and played a game? When was the last time you just sat under a tree and read your Bible?

We get so busy with the busyness of life that we lose sight of the blessings God has given us. Spend time with your kids. They will be your kids longer than your boss will be your boss. Your wife will be with you longer than that project. If you don’t take care of your health, you won’t be able to go to work or to your kids basketball game.

Lets look at that one thing that is needful, and as Mary did choose that better part. That can never be taken from us.

I have been on staff at Grace now for approximately 4 years. I have learned a lot about working in The Lord’s Ministry, and the part that I play in aiding others to do so as well. For me, though, I am an observer. I learn a lot about myself as I observe others. I am not talking about comparing myself to others, but that I find people that I value and look up to, and see what they are doing that is different to what I am doing.

Now, granted, everyone is different and what works for one may not work for another, however what I have found is that there are basically 3 different approaches to ministry and that each have their strengths and weaknesses. Being in the position of Children’s Pastor, I find myself bringing all these types of people together and praying for God to work use their strengths and weaknesses to bring them together for a common goal… that Children and families may know Him. Let me give you a few examples of types of workers:

Anchors – “I will continue this until the Lord comes.”

• The Positive
  • This thought process causes us them plant their feet.
  • They do not look at these ministries opportunities as stepping stones
  • They do not look toward a time when they will no longer have to do this.
  • They believe that this is where God wants them and they commit to it.
• The Negative
  • They can look at others and wonder why they do not have the same level of commitment.
  • They can forget that God may not come in during their life time.
  • They do not see the need to train the next group of teachers because they have it covered.
  • When we finally lose one of these “Anchors” they leave a hole in the ministry.
  • Anchors can feel robbed when change happens, or ministries end.

Temp Workers – “I will be here as long as I am needed.”

• The Positive
  • Great fill-ins when Anchors are gone.
  • Try to be sensitive to God’s ministries and what needs are there.
  • Eager to help when the need for workers arise.
  • Understanding when they are relocated or no longer needed in that position.
• The Negative
  • View their service as short term.
  • Looking toward the end that is sight.
  • Can get impatient when waiting for that end.

Climbers – “I graduated to the next level”

• The Positive
  • Always looking to improve.
  • They have a desire to Grow.
  • Tend not to become complacent.
  • Can become well rounded in their ministry.
• The Negative
  • Tend to look at ministries as stepping stones to the next level.
  • Do not understand that Ministry isn’t age segmented.
  • Overlook the blessings of working where God has them.
  • Might look at moving from one ministry to another as degrading.
  • Might look at some ministries as beneath them.

I am not saying one of these are better than the other… only showing the differences. However, there is another person I have observed. One that I do not see very much of, but would like to become more like. One that I think all of us should want to pattern ourselves after.

Disciplers – “I am here not only to work, but to teach others also”

• These view their commitment as to God and not a ministry.
  • “I will work here as long as God would have me.”
  • “Regardless of the ministry, I will continue to serve God.”
• These have what is best for God’s Work in mind.
  • “I need to make sure that the ministry is protected, not me.”
  • “If God were to move me tomorrow, who have I trained to take my place?”
• These take responsibility to train others with what they have learned .
  • “I will find someone to mentor, and so multiply myself.”
  • “I want to ensure that the next generation is able to train others.”

I am afraid that sometimes we view Discipleship and “other ministries” as separate. However, the truth of the matter is that we ARE doing these at the same time. Whether we know it or not, we are teaching others…the question is what are we teaching? I am not talking about those in our class, or on our bus… well, I guess I am. What I am specifically talking about is pulling people in, not as students, but as future teachers, bus workers, leaders, etc…

Ask yourself; “Am I investing into someone and trying to teach them how they too can carry the torch, or am I only concerned with what I am doing today?”

My goals for this year include becoming more active in my communication and being more organized in my training of workers. I thought this may be one avenue for doing so.

I often watch my friend, Max Fernandez, and a sense of jealousy creeps in as I see his organization. I figure I could be jealous, envious, or, teachable.

Have you ever thought about how nice something would be to have something (or perhaps an attribute) that someone else possesses? You see how someone is able to act or react to certain situation and wish you could be that way. Or, perhaps you see someone that has a gift connecting with people in a way that you do not, and you think it unfair that you do not have this ability. The ugly green eyed monster appears and all of a sudden you realize…

You are jealous!

So what’s the big deal?

If you are anything like me, I am sure it starts as admiration. You say things like, “They really are good at…” or “They do a wonderful job of…” but deep down, if we were honest, we secretly wish we could do that too. We dismiss it because we think it isn’t that bad of a thing. We try to excuse our feelings and label them as compliments or simple observations. However, lets be frank…this is just a form of covetousness. It is a sin.

Galatians 5:19-21 

19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

Did you catch that? Right in the midst of all these things we would consider horrible sins; witchcraft, idolatry, adultery, murders… we find one specific sin… do you see it? Envyings.

The flesh continues to manifest itself in so many ways. Even when we set out to admire something about someone… or so we think… we find ourselves fighting the sin of Envy.

So, how do we fight this?

Well, there are several things we must do:

1. First, we must admit there is an issue.
   • Quit excusing our sins.
   • Quit ignoring our sins.
2. Second, we must confess it to God and ask for forgiveness.
   • I John 1:9 lets us know that God will forgive our sins. All we must do is confess it before him.
   • In this, there is also healing in confessing it to the person you have envied. I know it sounds a little hard, but believe me… It isn’t.
3. Third, decide to take action.
   • Like I said earlier… I can continue to wish, or I can decide to be teachable.
   • Instead of wallowing in self-pity because you do not have the same talents, why not ask the one you envy to teach you to this ability?
   • Many times, our jealousy is a crutch for not working. I can wish I were more organized, or I can work at becoming more organized.

I know this may not be profound, but it helped me putting it into words.

And… thanks Chief!